I feel I should write about this but I'm positive, a lot of people will disagree with me or get offended. But I'm not judging anyone; it’s just my own opinions and experiences.
My fiancé and I had too many arguments till it came to a point I was about to give up. I wanted to cancel it off and just lead a normal, happy, single life. Our arguments was about everything; decorations, themes, photo shooting, shoes, suits, house renovations, sofas and the ultimate one… parents. I’m not sure how many couples out there have gone through these problems but I know I did and I really didn’t like it.
I’m a very stubborn person, what I want is what I want. When all the planning and scouting was going on, in my mind “This is ours wedding, Andrew and Elizabeth’s wedding”. Only we and no one else; I was so wrong, wrong to the extend I felt dumb. Do you know how insulting this is? Gosh, the amount of stress and migraine I have gone through.
My grandmother passed away at a slight-off timing but she passed away at the age of 92. To Chinese, this is called the ‘Golden Age’ (it was a Taoism funeral) and because of the 'Golden Age' thing we don’t have a lot of forbidden rules (reminder: I’m a Catholic). This is when hell broke loose…
My mother-in-law and my fiancé was trying to stop me from attending the funeral (mind you, I love my grandmother). How insane can that be? I mean my fiancé?? Come on, he should know better… My mum is a very detailed person and knowing that her daughter is getting married soon, she will definitely take what-so-ever precaution and talk to the master (sifu) about it. If my mum said it’s okay to go but don’t do the prayers stuff, means its okay for me to go. Who are they to tell me not to go??
I think I’m confusing you, let me straighten it out for easier understanding.
• My fiancé is a free thinker.
• My in laws are Protestant
• My mum is a Catholic but she believes in both ways (Taoism).
• I’m a Catholic.
Now do you see the connection? My fiancé is a free thinker but he is trying to persuade me not to attend the funeral because not good for the wedding (does it link?? From a free thinker, suddenly he believe in all those things. I was confused for a while). My mother in law suddenly became the master of know-it-all. She tried persuading me not to go for the funeral (of course, I refused), then tried telling me if my grandmother funeral was done in the Christian style, then there will be no forbidden rules to follow. If it’s done in the Taoism style then too bad, have to follow a what-so-ever forbidden rule which is the wedding have to be done within a 100 days or 2 years later. Is she trying to get me to convert my dead grandmother? Since when my mother in law converted to a Taoist, I thought she was a Protestant?
I told my fiancé off and I told him how upset and disappointed I was about all these ridiculous stuff. At the funeral (the first day), I spent half the day crying and begging my mum to let me go (thanks to my brother and sister in law, my mum finally gave in and let me go) and I spent half the evening laughing. The next day I couldn’t decide whether I’m happy or sad. Don’t get me wrong, I was sad because I lost my grandmother but I was happy because she passed away peacefully, no suffering and no pain. I was trying so hard not to be mad and not to scream at anyone…
To be continued...
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